to the point that he cares about nothing that he used to love...including you?

Refuses to try to get help.

Slip him some MDMA.

Not ask internet strangers.

What's with the acting like dicks?

I'd say you just have to do your best to try to get him to get help. From personal experience I'd say a psychiatrist who will help him without prescribing drugs, but opinions there vary. The point is, you can only do so much for him. He has to accept the help. I have no idea what your financial situation is like, so I don't know if that's an issue, but if he's not going to be too proud about it you could even try scheduling an appointment for him and tell him it's already done, so he might as well go. Hopefully he'd open up and realize that it might actually help him.

Beyond that, just be there for him while you can and don't hate yourself if you have to leave him. Again, I'm not familiar with your situation, but if he won't accept help then you have nothing to gain from staying in a loveless relationship.

Yep. My man is manic-depressive. So I've totally and completely been there.

He's got to get help. I had to offer mine an ultimatum to get help. He either got help, or I wouldn't marry him. We're married so you can see where things got better.

It's not something that will ever just "go away". Sometimes he'll feel okay and feel like he can handle it and life is good. But when the bad feelings hit, they hit really hard. Then they realize they can't do it by themselves.

How do you know he doesnt care about you? Has he said so?

quote:

Originally posted by Pistachio Nut:
How do you know he doesnt care about you? Has he said so?

For me personally, anyway, depression can tend to level emotion out in defense of itself; ie, not caring about anything enough to feel one way or the other about it, because any feelings would just be bad ones.. I'm guessing that's what she's referring to, since it's generally pretty obvious when absolutely nothing can move someone.

Been there, unfortunately done that...

mine has big time depressive tendencies -- thank goodness they haven't shown themselves in a while... but during a good portion of our early relationship, he drug around like a damn raincloud, slept for 14 hrs a day or more if he could...

He got on meds, but got off again... said they made him feel "fuzzy"...

You have to do what's best for your own well being... know when it's time to stay or go and you are the only one who can make that choice.

I made my choice to leave, but fortunately that seemed to snap him out of what he was in at the time and he realized letting me go was not what he wanted... we've been married for 3 years now.

quote:

Originally posted by JohnApricot:

quote:

Originally posted by Pistachio Nut:
How do you know he doesnt care about you? Has he said so?

For me personally, anyway, depression can tend to level emotion out in defense of itself; ie, not caring about anything enough to feel one way or the other about it, because any feelings would just be bad ones.. I'm guessing that's what she's referring to, since it's generally pretty obvious when absolutely nothing can move someone.

Yeah but when I threaten, I mean REALLY threaten to leave him he becomes this HUGE crying mess because he loves me so much and doesn't want me to leave. He just can't help that he's depressed. He LOVES me even if he's so depressed that he doesn't "feel" like he loves me. That's why I ask if he actually said he doesn't care or if she's just inferring it.

stick it in his butt.

really though, talk to the dude.